Tips to a happier (and maybe even healthier) marriage Part #2

It's been almost a year, but I am finally doing part two of my tips to a happy and healthy marriage. Here it goes...

1. Intimacy. It's so important to come together on this level. Sometimes it's hard to overcome the stresses of the day or to move past whatever may be plaguing your thoughts. Perhaps you had a rough day at the office, or the kids were more challenging. Maybe you're stressed with money or you're just really tired. All of these things happen to us all the time, but it's important to put them to the side and become one with your partner as often as you can. For you that may only be a a couple times a month or a couple times a week, but do it whenever you can. A disconnect on a physical level leads to a disconnect in many, if not all, other aspects of your marriage. To be blunt, sometimes you've got to "bang it out."
2. Embrace each other's interests. Even the small ones. A book he or she may enjoy. A song. A band. An activity. It feels so good to be able to share even the small thing with your best friend and partner and it makes you feel more connected and appreciated when your partner cares. Common ground is really important.  Not being able to share with your partner can make you feel pretty lonely. I think this one is really important.  It goes right along with remaining friends. 
3. Compete. I don't mean in a childish game playing kind of way. I mean in a fun kind of way. Play a board game. Have a race. Do lazer tag. Challenge each other. It can be a lot of fun to get in touch with your inner child and connect on that level. It will strengthen your bond in friendship and release a lot of tension you may have.
4. Love them how they need to be loved/communicate what you need. We all need different things in our lives to make us feel loved. Some of us need verbal recognition, some of us need physical gestures. It's important to give your partner what he or she needs in order to nourish your love and forge a thriving connection built in love, trust, and the knowledge that you're partner cares what your needs are and takes the time to give you what you need. Remember that it's not all about you but communicate you're needs to your partner so that he or she may love you as well. It would be unfair to rob your partner of the chance to give you what you need.  
5. Say I love you, all the time, even when you may not mean it at the time. It used to drive me insane when my husband would tell me he loved me when we were fighting. I felt obligated to say it back. I wanted to say, "Man, I do NOT want to tell you I love you right now! I am angry and do I NOT feel like being nice!" But, I always said it back anyways, because in this life, things are always changing. You never know from one minute to the next what's going to happen or when those you love will be gone from this world. Always tell each other you love one another, even when it's hard.

-God Bless

Tips to a happier (and maybe even healthier) marriage Part #1

I've seen lots of different posts in Christian blogs with authors tips to a happy healthy marriage. So, seeing as my husband and I have experienced just about every challenge a marriage can face, I figured I would share 5 tips on how to make your marriage happier and maybe even healthier. So, here they are in no particular order of importance.

1. Romantic comedy's and love stories, are just that. Comical and stories. Life isn't really like that. You're husband/wife can't read your mind and just know how to make you happy or please you. Life will never be perfect and a happy ending really just means you live a full and complete life together, but it will still be a roller coaster ride, and the downs will always be there from time to time.
2. Your husband/wife has flaws. He or she always will, and you just need to accept that. Guess what else, you have flaws too and you always will. We are human beings and we are not perfect. All we can do is pray for strength and growth, enrich ourselves with things around us, and journey towards becoming better people. But it will always be a journey and we will never finish until death.
3. This probably goes without saying, but I'm going to say it anyways. Never EVER under any circumstance invite someone else into your marriage. I'm not talking about a counselor or a priest (or The Holy Trinity), that's different.  I'm talking about friends, family, other partners (ie threesomes/open relationships etc.), and other busy bodies who will try to tell you how to run your relationship and what's best for your relationship or try to get between you two (like the other sexual or romantic partners). Don't post your business on facebook, write it in your blog, tweet it, or anything else. It's one thing to share a happy moment by telling a story or to vent to a friend, but be picky about what you share and more importantly, who you share it with. 
4. Stay friends. Not everything you and your partner do needs to be a romantic one. Yes, romance is important, i'll talk about that later, but friendship is equally as important. Do things together as friends too. Just to have fun. Often we get so caught up as seeing each other as husband and wife, mommy and daddy, provider and housewife, head of the family and heart of the family, that we forget to see each other as Jane and John. When that happens, we forget why we love the other person, why we fell for them and what it is about the other person that made us fall for them in the first place. We stop trying to "woo" each other and how to to be gentlemanly or lady-like for them. Even though you are married, to a point, we all still want to feel like we're being chased a little or like we're dating. Put on a cute outfit sometimes just for him, fart in the other room, maintain your appearance, close the door when you use the restroom. 
5. Romance. I suggest date night. My husband and I want to do this, but yes, it can be a challenge. Between school, work, the kids, and money troubles, date night can be daunting. But when we do manage to get away, just the two of us, it's like a refreshing gulp of a re-hydrating drink. We both feel more relaxed, at peace, rejuvenated, reconnected, and just generally uplifted together. Couple time is just as important as family time and alone time.

-God Bless