Lay off the hater-aid

Phil Robertson of the hit A&E television show, Duck Dynasty, hits the nail on the head with this one. This is actually a topic I am pretty passionate about, and have, on more than one occasion, considered making ranty youtube videos about.

It's the false and ignorant assumption which most of society (including many non-Catholic Christians) make, that just because we may not agree with something someone does, means we hate them, wish ill upon them, or condemn them to an eternity of hell fire. This may be true for some fire and brimstone or radical believers, but it is not so for most Catholics and other similarly moral religions. In fact, I for one, was taught from as little as I can remember to "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Let's take a look at this statement for a moment...

Love the sinner: Jesus tells us over and over again to love one another, to treat others how we would want them to treat us and to cast not the first. Judge not, yet ye be judged comes to mind. I am not a perfect person and I am not innocent of judging others. I am a sinner. However, I do not automatically hate someone because they are a homosexual or because they have premarital sex or because they live in a way that goes against the teachings of my faith. There are many good people in this world who "live in sin." Guess what, that sin, is between them and God and has absolutely nothing to do with me. I do not have to love the fact that my child draws on the walls to still love my child.

That being said, it doesn't mean I am going sit here and say. "Sure, do whatever you want. Live in a sin. Go against the Lord. It doesn't affect me, so why should I care?" Did God not tell Cain that yes, in fact, he is his brothers keeper, and his brother is his? We are all children of Christ whether we've accepted him into our lives or not. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ as Cain and Able were brothers to one another, and therefor, yes, it is my job to try and help you be right with the Lord. 

I will not apologize for saying, "This goes against the Lord and I love you and so does he and we do not want to see you be separated from him," with my actions and my voice. It is because the church loves you that they stand up to try and keep you from making the mistakes that separate you from the Holy Trinity. There is NO HATE in this but rather MORE LOVE than is quantifiable. So much love, in fact, that we are willing to take the never yielding persecution so that our message of love and guidance can always reach those who need to hear it. 

Hate the sin: Sin is ugly. Sin is what separates us from all that is right and holy. I am by no means innocent. I sin every single day of my life. But when I shut my eyes at night, I know that God loves me. I know the angles, the saints, the blessed mother, they love me. They forgive me. They pray for me. I do not hate myself for the sins I commit. I hate my actions. I hate that my daughter draws on the walls and touches things I have asked her repeatedly not to touch. But I love her anyways. She is my child. My blood. My flesh. As we are Gods children. His blood. His flesh. He loves us despite the fact that we do what he asks us not to every. single. day. Hate is defined as a strong disliking of something. I hate that ANYONE is apart from the Lord. I hate it, because I have what they call, "give a damn." I care about you. I care about myself, and it's because of this caring and this love that I hate to see you or anyone else separate yourselves from our awesome God. 

So what I am going to ask of you is this, if you find yourself reading this and you are not of my faith, please don't hate me for loving God and for loving you and wanting to see you do right by yourself and I promise not to hate you for injuring my Heavenly Father with your actions. We can all live in peace together, I want this with all of my being, but that doesn't mean I will ever stop encouraging you to be right with my God because I know my God wants to be right with you. 

-Blessings

Tips to a happier (and maybe even healthier) marriage Part #2

It's been almost a year, but I am finally doing part two of my tips to a happy and healthy marriage. Here it goes...

1. Intimacy. It's so important to come together on this level. Sometimes it's hard to overcome the stresses of the day or to move past whatever may be plaguing your thoughts. Perhaps you had a rough day at the office, or the kids were more challenging. Maybe you're stressed with money or you're just really tired. All of these things happen to us all the time, but it's important to put them to the side and become one with your partner as often as you can. For you that may only be a a couple times a month or a couple times a week, but do it whenever you can. A disconnect on a physical level leads to a disconnect in many, if not all, other aspects of your marriage. To be blunt, sometimes you've got to "bang it out."
2. Embrace each other's interests. Even the small ones. A book he or she may enjoy. A song. A band. An activity. It feels so good to be able to share even the small thing with your best friend and partner and it makes you feel more connected and appreciated when your partner cares. Common ground is really important.  Not being able to share with your partner can make you feel pretty lonely. I think this one is really important.  It goes right along with remaining friends. 
3. Compete. I don't mean in a childish game playing kind of way. I mean in a fun kind of way. Play a board game. Have a race. Do lazer tag. Challenge each other. It can be a lot of fun to get in touch with your inner child and connect on that level. It will strengthen your bond in friendship and release a lot of tension you may have.
4. Love them how they need to be loved/communicate what you need. We all need different things in our lives to make us feel loved. Some of us need verbal recognition, some of us need physical gestures. It's important to give your partner what he or she needs in order to nourish your love and forge a thriving connection built in love, trust, and the knowledge that you're partner cares what your needs are and takes the time to give you what you need. Remember that it's not all about you but communicate you're needs to your partner so that he or she may love you as well. It would be unfair to rob your partner of the chance to give you what you need.  
5. Say I love you, all the time, even when you may not mean it at the time. It used to drive me insane when my husband would tell me he loved me when we were fighting. I felt obligated to say it back. I wanted to say, "Man, I do NOT want to tell you I love you right now! I am angry and do I NOT feel like being nice!" But, I always said it back anyways, because in this life, things are always changing. You never know from one minute to the next what's going to happen or when those you love will be gone from this world. Always tell each other you love one another, even when it's hard.

-God Bless

My "issues" with some of the Catholic/Christian beliefs.

OK, maybe "issue" is a harsh word. Perhaps it is more, things I don't understand or perhaps that I question. Some of it is Christianity as a whole some is strictly Catholicism. Here it goes...

If God is good and loving then why is there a hell? It seems a bit contradictory that God who loves us all so much would send us to hell for being sinners? I was taught growing up to love the sinner but hate the sin. I do not have to love how you live your life to still love you. God is good and awesome and loves us so much, so it seems that the existence of hell for those who try to be good but fall short doesn't quite fit with that..

I have heard that many people consider much of the church to be full of hypocrisy. While I do not think this is true all the way around, I can see, to a point, where people are coming from in some respects. For one thing, paying money to the church for any kind of ceremony should be optional. It makes no sense to me that in order to get my child baptized I have to pay $50. It should be, "A donation to the church would be greatly appreciated. Any amount up to X amount. However, we understand that not everyone is in a position to do so and no one will be refused in any way do to financial restraints" Just sayin....

Now this topic is a bit risque but here it goes....masturbation. I have three little kids. When my eldest was three I caught him sitting on the couch poking his boy thing because, as he said, it felt good. At that age, he has no concept of sexuality. So I have to wonder, is it a sin, or is it natural?

I'm not technically allowed to take communion and I completely disagree with why. My marriage is not blessed by the church. We eloped. I can't get my marriage blessed because he's not Catholic. So because he's not Catholic I can't get it blessed and because I can't get it blessed I can't be in good standing. Somehow, that seems wrong to me.

Is it possible there is a little truth in all religions? I'm not saying I don't believe Catholicism isn't #1, because I do. But I can't help but wonder if maybe there is a grain of truth in other places. Many religions have the same basic message, "Love others and do to them what you would want them to do to you." Just a thought.

If God works through us, through our very hands, quite literally, than why is it hard to believe that perhaps birth control is him working through us to prevent pregnancy. Not only is birth control able to be used for the purpose of prevention, but it is also useful in the treatment of some gender specific illnesses such as PCOS, endometoriosis, and amenorreah,

So that's what I've got for now. =)

-God Bless

**A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR**
The intent in this piece is to ask questions, encourage conversation, and discuss in a spiritually healthy manor. The Catholic Church and The Bible are the final authority on all subjects. I do acknowledge that this particular piece reads in a manor which may suggest disapproval or argument against certain teachings, however, that is not the intention or goal of this piece.